One of the greatest advice I was given was by my mentors fraternity brother. It was my first intro call with him and I was set to ask him for some advice on internship opportunities I had for the summer.

When I spoke to this man, it was of the most uncomfortable conversations I ever had (it takes a lot to throw me out of my zone). His responses were delayed and dry. It seemed like he wasn’t paying attention. After a couple of moments back and back with him, I became frustrated. I decided to say something about his behavior.

The moment I challenged him and called him out on what I thought bad behavior, he denied it. He started what they called “gaslighting” me and blaming me for the awkwardness. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I grew ever more frustrated and upset, but it was in that moment where this individual taught me a great lesson. The following is paraphrased:

“People have an unconscious tendency of being in a comfortable state. They are willing to do anything to return to that state. So when I interview people for my team, I think to myself will this guy fit in with the team. Will he cause a distraction at work? Will he affect the team’s performance? ….. “

As he continued to spill gems, my mind began to churn and extract the great value from his words. Wow this guy really knows his ~~shit~~ (Funny Enough I think this was all accidental. I think we just had bad service). Coupled with more encounters in life, I realized his message ever so clearly.

While there is right and wrong in this world, we as humans don’t tend to align with that. We align with comfort, and comfort has no boundaries.

How many times do we find ourselves comfortable in bad situations? Isn’t that where growth lives? This reality boggles my mind and very hard for me to wrap my head around. You can do, think, say, act whatever, the right way, but if it makes people uncomfortable you are “wrong”.

So from this story I present to you, the reader, with the choice —- Do you want to be right or do you want to be right? While being right is subjective and takes alot of failure and experience to find, it comes with many consequences: people will dislike you. You are making them face the reality and step out of their comfort zone. Are you sure you want to be right?

I am notorious for being right at the wrong times. There is a way to being right at the right time. But regardless, people will be always uncomfortable. The next step (which I am 100% missing) is having the empathy and the EQ to navigate through that discomfort with others. This lesson coupled with this skill, will make you a great leader. People need to hear the truth, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it.

While I have yet to find this path, I believe in it. It is very hard for me to find. You will hurt yourself and loved ones. But my spirit (and hopefully yours) is too strong to sit by and see others be wrong. So ironically I am uncomfortable in the lies and find comfort in the truth.

svntii